Day 6 — The Empty Hours

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

— Ephesians 5:15-16

Today I did deliveries. I did good. I picked up good momentum.

By 1 p.m. I was done — a full day’s work finished early. The sun was out, the air was light, and I had the rest of the day to myself. It could’ve been great. It was great — for a while.

Then the night came.

And without even realizing it, I was drinking again. Not just a little — I drank the whole day, little by little, until it caught up to me. And by the end of it, I was filled with that same heavy feeling — depression, regret, shame.

The next morning, I woke up and it hit me hard:

I’m living in circles. I do well, I build momentum, I feel proud — and then I tear it down again. It’s like watching myself take two steps forward and three steps back.

I hate that feeling — that cycle of regret that waits at the end of every escape.

I need to know what to do with my time. Because when I don’t, the void fills itself. When there’s no direction, temptation becomes direction.

I can’t live like that anymore.

I have to use my time as if it were my life — because it is.